Pond

Truth lifts weight
on the highway with a friend
Just because I thought it
doesn't mean it has to be.

A good scene
A good blog
Pond, path, motorcycle, goodby
Always words unsaid

Not sure which ones

Hypotheticals,
you are beautiful.

I could jump in
Emerge a different color
I could marry someone

You couldn't
You wouldn't jump in either

I dive too deep
I read too deep
On the way I lose my innocence
I cry in my car

You watch the surface
You hate this place
But you never leave

You look away
I surface
I sink

I surface again
You are watching
I sink

Just because I thought it was forever
Doesn't mean it has to be
On the highway with a friend
Not crying

The truth lifts weight

The Notebook

Plywood, letters, phone calls, baseball cap
Red wedding, road trips, hopes up
Nikon, excuses, fireworks, big talk
Parking lot, cemetery

Workaholics, quitters

I love beards
I don't talk big
I put a letter on your car
You saved it

Dim or dark
Never bright
Brilliant
Brainiacs, us

Too busy, always
the excuse

Leave room for Jesus

It is always an answer to hear your voice
We are of the same mind
The journey.
The ghosts.

Whiteboard, cursive, useless flirtations
nothing is too much
nothing out of bounds
that's why we walk to gether, apart

always distant
always dim
hopeless romantic
sinkng feeling
on delayed repeat

voice of reason
voice of opinion
voice of change
silly, stupid voice
doesn't want to say anything wrong

and never does

everything is kind of a joke
your profundity surprises me
and you

your anarchy ignites mine
and blinds me to what is right

My respect for you falls.
It rises.

I am glad for my moment of desperation.
I blamed it on a mood swing.
You told me I was swinging up
And that you were glad too.

Always forgiven
"Lifelong friends"
agreed long ago
I didn't realize then
how serious the pact.

Boyscout

asshole, boyscout
ropes from the hardware store
laughs in the face of prayers
forms different plans

spider
waiting
caring or not
not breaking a heart
biting instead
winding, silent, passive
sixteen closed eyes

but the power to wind was given to him by me
lies readily accepted from another
sugary and bright

psychologist; he reads journals
somehow
not all-powerful
but powerful enough

the asshole

I hate my friends
don't want to delete insecurity
paradox
delete them for a while

sleep on it
they'll be there when I wake up
the spider won't
he never was

Red Gloves

I want my gloves back
I'm never coming back

You're wrong.

Life in my hands,
really in theirs
public place,
your place.

stupid.

I'm busy.
Be good.
This is it.

people talk, I smile
can't stop now
they're holding too tight

"I'm for you," she says
I am consumed.

I don't owe
Yet I am obligated
Indifferent

Blame it on the crazy

"This is an addiction," she says,
"Which I do not support."

Fine.
No secrets.

Doctor says to dad,
"Dad, danger."

Fast bloom, first frost.

Pink

Pink has stolen my soul.
Both times; empty, whole.
the texture of the stumbling block
the color of the cornerstone.

Pink from printers
Pink from heaven
Son of man
Walked with the pink

They bled from ancient paper cuts
He bound them.
A whiteout.
The old red, the new white.

Pink satin pants give me away.
I am beheaded.
If they mix my blood with white
I will be discovered again.

People stare
As they should
It is a color that is not easily hidden.
Empty, Whole

River Girl

Reading.
A novel beauty.
Sweet rest from noise

Loved like Job
everyone knows
but no one knows her soul

Pitied
We do the best we can.
She is the sole understander,
the only qualified storyteller.

Bad surprise on a good day.
Did he tell her to forget so she wouldn't be sad?

An infinite ravine has opened.

Anything
rebuild the broken bridge.

But a wall,
break it.

It is impossible.
A river runs through the ravine.
To fall is to be lost.

There is another river.
There are waters in your soul.
Free them.
Join the river.

Your words will not destroy.
Jump in,
be free.
Fear not.
Tears only make the water sweeter.

City

I enter the city.
It welcomes me.
It smiles upon me.
It clothes me with vines.

They are lovely, twisted vines
nets of rage, confusion and skin
nets of shiny

Shiny vines hold no water.

The twisty vines have found my heart,
blown my mind.

I am ecucated.
Sophisticated.

I itch to be an icon
to be a paper doll
whose smile is always real
and who never tires of standing

I itch for more vines.

Encrust them with jewels!
Bind them tighter around my heart!
Hunger is not a sin.

Men will climb the vines around my heart.
They will find poison inside.

Confession burns
Repentence frightens

Someone drain the poison
Someone burn the vines,
melt the shiny

I itch.

The itch does not come in seven years
it comes in seven days
in seven minutes
in seven heartbeats.

It comes as the trumpets blast
and the men shout.

I am freed

But if my heart still beats with the city,
Will it fall with the city?

Marsh Creek Monster

Monster of the Lake,
come out.

you know its bottom;
secure him there.

you know its stones;
let him hold them.

monster, monster,
come out of my dreams
I think of me
when I think of you

Grab my feet, surprise
pull me down
pull me away
I will find that I am not afraid

you know the currents and the tides;
sweep him away.

soul of mine,
listen to the lake; it knows
let it take you home

don't be afraid if the monster comes.
it comes first for him,

then to take you home.

Brief Letter

red flag, fiancee
gasoline, silly lights
clean your car
your baby car

your gaze, singular
freezing, another moment
freeing, you trickster
deliberate, fleeting

more, more
friendless, we were
alone
fairy tale

oh, to send a letter
to clean a different car
to be a lady.
temper, temper.  even so.

no regret.
then, regret
your children
to the seventh generation.

Golden

mom would sit this way
what's wrong with me?
I am very much here.
and I am nothing like my warriors.

sent to protect
powerless without orders
invisible in the tepid room
angry, helpless

I choose death for a day
choose power
find weakness
but I choose it

hundreds watching waiting
knowing dreading
they guard me as I choose
their gold armor

grasping at straws
spin to gold, spin to gold
please, please, no, no
rumplestiltskin
you idiot

Not Swimming

In the water
not swimming
kiss of death
life is dimming


drained, manic
euphoric, bound
I am a secret
closed doors, no sound

never tell your friends, your father
clinging to feverish dreams
tying waters together
your water is dry

picture mixup
drive home, sad light
electrocution
throw you in my water

not swimming